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The Book
(Nate, Jacob, and Hope are all in Don’s living room) Nate: Fucking shit, where’s Don? Jacob: She just texted me, she’s on her way. Nate: Can she be on her way faster? WAITING SUCKS! Hope: Calm your shit. Nate: Look who’s talking. Hope: (Glares) What was that? Jacob: Ok... While you two kill each other, I’ll be in the bathroom. (Jacob gets up an leaves). Nate: Wait, I might need a witness! (Turns to Hope, who now has an “I’m going to kill you” look in her eyes) Oh fuck. (Time lapse Jacob is walking out of the bathroom and trips on something). Jacob: The fu? (Picks up a book with a strange cover) Weird book.. (Opens the book) The fuck kinda language is this? (Shrugs and gets up and walks to the living room, where Hope is eating ice-cream). Nate: Well, welcome the fuck back. Jacob: Guys I just found this book th- Hope where did you get the ice-cream? Hope: I found it, where’d you get the book? Jacob: Found it… Did you just take Don’s ice-cream? Hope: Did you just take Don’s book? Jacob: You win this round. Hope: Damn straight. Now let me see that book! (Grabs the book out of his hands). Jacob: It’s not in English. Hope: (Trying to read it) Adalig—The fu? Jacob: Told you. Nate: Sound it out or something. Hope: Adalagi diaolos I kori, Soma diafora pregipisa tou diaolo. (Hopes eyes glow for a second then she falls down). Nate: Hope! Sis, you okay? Hope: Yes, I’m okay, thank you for your concern older brother! Nate: Huh? Hope: I’m grateful that I have people who care about me! Nate: I repeat, HUH? Hope: Is something wrong? Nate: YEAH! You’re acting.. Like… NOT YOU! Hope: (With teary eyes) Wh-why would you say that? Jacob: Dude, did you suffer from a bump to the head? Hope: You’re both being really mean! (Runs off) Nate: Nice job, ass hole. Jacob: What? Me? (Don walks in the door) Don: Hola bitchachos, sorry I’m late. Jacob: Don, thank God, I think something’s wrong with Hope. Don: Did she take my ice-cream again? Jacob: No- Well, yes… But we have a different problem. Don: What? Jacob: Well, I found this book and- Don: YOU TOOK MY BOOK!? Jacob: Well I- Don: AND YOU READ IT!? Jacob: Sorta it was Hope she- Don: I can’t BELIVE my BEST FRIEND would invade my privacy like that! Jacob: Don, just listen! Don: (Ignoring him) Nate, what page did she read? Nate: I don’t know, but after she did she started acting all different. Don: I know the page It changes peoples personalities to the opposite. But… I (sigh) I have no idea how to reverse it. Jacob: Than what do we do? Don: (still ignoring him). Jacob: Come on, don’t you think you’re over reacting? Don: You know what? Maybe you just don’t understand, and you fucking should! Jacob: Do you really hear yourself! You’re acting crazy! Don: I’m not the one that takes people’s stuff. You know what that’s called? STEALING! Jacob: I FOUND it! Don: Just fuck off. Jacob: FINE! Don: FANTASTIC! Nate: Uh, Guys? Don and Jacob: STAY OUT OF THIS! Nate: (Sigh) I’ll go get her myself. (Time lapse, Nate is wondering the street looking for hope) Nate: She couldn’t have gotten that far.. Voice: (Off screen) I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to anger you. Nate: That’s Hope! (Nate runs to an ally, to find hope and to angry looking men). Man 1: We don’t care girly, no one beats us and gets away with it. Hope: goodness, I would never hurt another person. Man 2: Yeah, sure! Nate: (off screen) HAY! (On screen) Hands off my little sister! Man 1: And what are you gonna do about it? Nate: I’ll fucking show you! (Nate charges towards the first man and kicks him in the face, the second man tries to punch Nate, but he ducks and the second man ends up punching the first one). Man 1: Ouch! Nate: you should see what I’m about to do to you. (Nate grabs the first man’s arm and twists it behind his back, then kicks the back of his knees). Nate: Had enough? ‘Cuz, I wouldn’t care if I had to kill you. Man 2: Let’s get outa here! (Both men run away) Man 1: (As he’s running) Your entire family is crazy! Nate: DAMN STRAIGHT BITCH! Hope: Nate! Thank you so much for saving m- Nate: Okay, cut the crap! Hope: What? I don’t understand. Why would you say that? Nate: (Thinking) Maybe if I pissed her off, she would snap out of it! Oh fuck, I’m going to die today. (Out loud) Because, I can say whatever the hell I want! Hope: Well, that’s not very nice! Nate: Too bad! I can because I’m a man! Hope: What do you mean by that? Nate: Men are superior to women! Hope: N- NO THEY ARE NOT! Nate: Yes they are! Women are weak! Hope: WOMEN ARE NOT FUCKING WEAK! Nate: Then, prove it! Hope: FUCKING SHIT I’LL PROVE IT! I’M GOING TO KICK YOU GOAT-FUCKING ASS FROM HERE TO NEPTUNE! PEOPLE IN ITALY WILL HEAR YOU SCREAM AND BEG FOR FUCKING MERCY! RUN NOW BITCH! Nate: She’s back! (Runs away) (Time lapse Nate runs back into Don’s house where she and Jacob are still not talking). Nate: Guy! I did it! I brought her back! Now hide me before she finds me! Don: Good for you, I guess. Nate: Are you dudes STILL not talking? Jacob: I only talk to people who aren’t CRAZY! Don: Nate, can you tell your brother that I’m not crazy, and that I don’t talk to people who TAKE MY THINGS! Nate: (sigh) Jacob, Don said that she’s not crazy, and th- Jacob: Tell her that I FOUND IT Nate: Jacob said- Don: Tell him that he’s an ass hole Jacob: (Turns to Don) That was a cheap shot! Don: It’s the truth! Jacob: Stop being a total bitch! Don: WHAT WAS THAT!? (Her power causes house to shake very slightly for a second). Jacob: You heard me! SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN! (Don and Jacob continue to argue as the camera slowly zooms into Nate). Nate: (twitches) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! (Don and Jacob stare at Nate in shock) Nate: You guys are best friends! You shouldn’t be acting this way over a STUPID BOOK! Don’t you guys even remember why you’re friends? (Flash back, a young Don and Jacob in a destroyed school cafeteria). Don: Why didn’t you run like everyone else? Why did you stay? Jacob: Because, I made a promise. (Flash back over) Don: (Sigh) You’re right. ( to Jacob) I’m sorry I was acting crazy. Jacob: Sorry I took your book. (Jacob and don Hug) Nate: WOOPDE-FRIGIN-DO! EVERYONE’S FRIENDS! NOW CAN YOU HELP ME HIDE BEFORE OUR CRAZY SISTER FINDS ME! Jacob: Sorry dude, you’re on your own. Don: We really don’t wanna get involved. Nate: FUCK YOU BOTH! Hope: (off screen) YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER BITCH! Nate: Aw fuck. '-end' (After credits) (The dark figure is sitting in a room, servillancing Don and the others, with Rita is the same room). Dark figure: So what do you think Ms. Abens? The deal is fair, if anything you're getting the better deal. Rita: And that's her? The green one? Dark figure: Yes, that's the one. Rita: (Thinks) O-okay. Deal Dark figure: Exalent. This will be fun. '-Real end' Category:Episodes